Watching this film pushed me to unearth the repressed memory of my first time at the cinema. No one present could confirm my recollection with 100% certainty, but I have the idea that this is how it happened—perhaps with a bit of childhood exaggeration.
The year was (possibly) 2007, and there I was, little Carolina, in Porto Alegre, the capital of the state of Rio Grande do Sul—the first big city I ever knew and one for which I have always had a deep love. I was at some shopping mall, accompanied by my mother, my godmother, my older brother, and, a very important detail, Dudu—my first childhood crush and my brother’s best friend at the time.
With all the wisdom of adults accompanied by three children—who they likely wanted to keep quiet for at least 90 minutes—my mother and godmother bought us movie tickets. The film? Harry Potter and Something, which, according to my calculations, was probably The Order of the Phoenix. The film’s rating? Not recommended for children under 12. My age in 2007? Three years old.
I don’t remember the details exactly, but the sequence of events in my mind goes something like this:
We enter the movie theater.
Monsters appear on the screen.
I start crying and ask to leave.
After my emergency removal, my mother/godmother (this is where my memory fails) decided to take me for a walk through the limbo between cinema halls, where the sounds from different movies blended together. The story could have ended right there. However, my next vivid memory is stopping in front of an open door to a screening of that great children’s classic, Ratatouille, and watching a bit of the film through the gap.
This could have been a happy ending. However, as anyone who has talked to me more than twice knows, I have had—since I can remember—not just a fear, but an absolute terror of rats. Given the prominence of this species in Ratatouille, I believe I must have wished to return to the Dementors or whatever other terrifying creature was lurking in Harry Potter.
The most interesting thing about all this, to me, is that despite the trauma of my first experience, going to the movies has never ceased to be a great desire and a great joy.
August 2024.
carolina ramos 